Finding a romantic partner as a trans person isn't easy. Even the most affirming cisgender (a person whose gender conforms with their birth sex) people can have reservations about dating someone who's transgender.
This is ok, we should not blame people who aren't comfortable dating a trans person. Physical attraction is an important part of a healthy relationship and, if someone isn't attracted to your body, it is understandable. That is something many trans people can understand. However, if we look at the traffic on Shemale Discover, it is quite clear that a lot of people find trans ladies and gentlemen very attractive. Their TS Snapchat accounts are some of the most followed on the social network. So why doesn’t it transfer to real life?
So, you’re a young, attractive trans person about to create a dating profile. You wonder if you should add the fact that you’re transgender to your profile. If you choose not to, you’ll have to tell the date later. This could work out well and they accept you, or it could get them to call you a liar for “hiding” it.
On the other hand, if you do put it on your profile, it could make you lose a lot of matches. It could cause some people to match with you simply because you are trans, as they have a strange attraction to trans people.
Yes, this is what it’s really like. So many questions and insecurities and not enough answers. It is definitely not simple, but love is worth pursuing.
So, 87.5% of cis people refuse to date trans people, but that’s not all - 98.2% of straight women and 96.7% of straight men refuse to date trans people. If you didn’t already tell the person you matched with that you are trans, you are faced with figuring out the right time to tell them.
The longer you wait, the more likely it is that they will react negatively. And once they do know, you’ll be faced with all sorts of questions. Intrusive questions about what surgeries you have gotten or will get, questions for them to test how much of a “real” guy or girl you are… Questions that make you feel less than desirable. Trust is the hardest part but the most important one. You want someone to love you for you. But that means that you need to be you, first be truthful to yourself, that will make all the difference in the world.
When we feel like there is no one for us, and that no one will accept us for who we are, all we need to do is look around to find out it is simply not the case. You are surrounded by people who care, they might not be your primary family, but they are there for you.
Well, among those people there might be someone who wants more, and you just have noticed it. So, take a step back and reexamine the relationships you have already created, some of them might lead to a very successful transsexual dating experience that you might not expect.
Don’t be surprised, it happens to all of us, while we are searching for that perfect love, the one we need might be staring us in the face at this very moment. This is where social networks can be very useful you might already belong to a group or have interacted with a possible match you just don’t know it. When we are insecure we tend to overlook the obvious signals people are sending, and that needs to change if we want to meet someone.
Here are three useful pieces of advice when dating a trans person…
Your date is a lot more than a trans person, and you should see them as more. This means that you need to focus on the conversations, finding out things you have in common and seeing if there is chemistry between you two. At the end of the day, it is the person you are interested in and not just the looks. This will make the whole date a lot more relaxed and comfortable, and who knows you might even end up finding the person with whom you would like to spend your life.
If you haven’t been around trans people before, and especially if you haven’t dated a trans person, you need to spend some time learning more about this community. When it comes to transsexual dating you need to understand that your date is not your source of information. This means you should not spend the evening asking questions about what’s it like to be a trans person and what is the cause behind the desire to transform in such a way. That way you won’t get an eye-roll and a polite explanation that you should have googled these things before getting together.
This is common courtesy and a show of respect. When you meet up, politely ask your transexual date which pronoun they prefer. Do not assume based on the looks, and also make sure that your date is comfortable before the interaction before proceeding. Do not try to mix politics into this, as there has been a lot of debate regarding the use of pronouns. The only thing you need to focus on is the person sitting opposite you and what their needs are.
Love and sex in the trans world are not a given. But they are far from intangible. There is so much love out there and it is waiting for you.